He is always speaking.
We need an inner sanctuary, a secret place, where we slow down and with a listening heart, we can hear.
During the birth of my first child, I developed some serious complications.
I left the delivery room and my body began unraveling in the post-partum suite.
I called for the nurse who told me it was normal to vomit so violently after delivery, but something just didn’t feel right.
I got out of bed and sat on the visitors chair.
That was my last memory until I woke up three days later in the ICU.
My kidneys had failed, my liver began to fail, my eye sight had failed due to strokes behind my eyes and my blood pressure went from my normal 100/60 to 200/125.
My heart and my body ached for my baby that I couldn’t see, nurse or hold.
Three days later I was released into post-partum care once again. This time, with a permanent catheter in my shoulder to receive outpatient dialysis.
I was 29 years old.
I laid in the hospital bed praying that God would fix my body. I was in pain and still couldn’t hold food down, but God had brought me back from the edge of death in those hours following delivery. I wanted to believe He could heal my body completely.
Fear gripped me….I thought, “What if He doesn’t heal me?”
One of my last days in the hospital, I was listening to a worship song and crying out to God to heal me.
As the chorus of that song played, “Your grace flows down and covers me. It covers me. It covers me,” I felt like God said, “Daughter, you’re healed.”
I clung to that word. When doctors told me I was very sick, when I had negative prognoses about my kidneys taking way too long to recover in those weeks following delivery, I rehearsed and declared that word. “Daughter, you’re healed.”
Just one word was all it took…one word to hold onto. One moment and one word sustained my life and built my faith.
After I went home, I spent 3 days per week in 4-hour dialysis sessions, and when fear stalked me in the night that I would live the rest of my life this way, I rehearsed that word, “Daughter, you are healed. My grace covers you. It covers you.”
I claimed that word like my life depended on it. And it did.
God is speaking. We need to hear from Him, words from our heavenly father. We cling to them. We cling to Him.
Nine years and three children later, God was faithful to His promise. He healed my body completely.
I needed to hear Him for that word, to listen, so I had that breath of life to cling to and bring me through.
My secret place used to be a special spot. And today, sometimes the place I hear God is in a quiet spot in my living room in the early morning. Sometimes He speaks while the vacuum roars and kids scream. Sometimes it is while I’m on a run or driving with three kids strapped in the backseat.
My secret place is wherever my soul becomes quiet so His voice can become loud, a place in my heart reserved only for Him, where I can listen, because He is always speaking.
God, please speak. I’m listening.
My post took me longer than five minutes today, because, well, I just didn’t want to stop writing.
Five Minute Friday is a feature over at Lisa-Jo Bakers TALES FROM A GYPSY MAMA blog.
So, let’s do this thing. Let’s write.
Set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..